Monday, 24 August 2015

Writing portfolio sample

Description: my goal in writing is I have ideas about what to write. I chose this goal because I wasn't very good at it. This was our inspiration for our writing: 


The cat called Johnson glanced around furiously looking for something, anything to help him escape. The continuous taunts of the bird named Billy was mucking up his brain, big time. The mischievous bird had trapped him 3 days ago.

He was in the lounge next to the big glass window searching, from behind the metal bars. He spotted a big black dog outside. The exact same dog he plays with, Bob. He knew Bob would rescue him if he saw him. He had to signal him some how without Billy knowing. Then he had a brain wave. The dog and cat distress call. Billy wouldn't know the distress call. Hannnnnnnnnn  hannnnnnnnn hannnnnnnnnn Johnson cried with his mouth closed. Bob ears pricked up when he heard the call. He gazed around and spotted Billy. Bob went to get his friends Ryan the Rottweiler and  Penelope the Pit Bull to rescue Billy. Lets go and attack. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Woof woof squawk squawk. Billy flew away as fast as he could. Freedoooom screeched Johnson. I'm free I'm free I'm free. They lived happily ever after until... 

Big idea: we used prompts like hear feel and see to describe what was happening.  We did a quick brain storm about a problem and a resolution. 

Feedback/feedforward: I reckon you could structure your story better so when your audience reads it they can understand better. I think you did well at adding hooking words at the start and descriptive words. 
Evaluation: I think I have acheved my goal because as soon as looked at the picture I hade an idea. My next step would be changing my idea more often.


  1. Loki, what an action packed story! I agree with Jaiden that you had a great hook that made me as a reader want to read more! I also like that you didn't use more words than you needed to make each point, although by adding more ideas or more details you could have fleshed the story out a bit more. It is great that you were immediately inspired by the image prompt, I suggest that you focus on building on those initial ideas. By planning effectively you can make sure you include lots of detailed ideas in your writing.

  2. Lachlan - this is the best story I have read that you have written. We know that writing is not one of your favourite things to do but it looks like you put a lot of work into this one and we are really proud of your efforts. On our adventures next year you will have lots of inspiration for writing! Mum

  3. Where did you generate your ideas from?